40. (with egg)

Now even The Google is involved!

So sad...

From http://www.vilain.com/web-design.html

I am so completely frustrated right now. For the last few hours I've been working on a digital art project in The Gimp (a free Photoshop alternative) and failing to produce what I want. It's infuriating.... I can close my eyes and picture exactly what I want to create, every detail, but I just can't bend this illustration software to my will and draw the damn thing.

I suppose this happens all the time. Having never take an art course past Art 101, I'm sure the inspiration vs. execution argument comes up: are you really an artist if you can't actually create your art? Are you an artist if you can't paint the picture in your head? Are you a musician if you can't compose the melody you hear in your mind's ear? And what of the inverse of this problem, the Bizarro-inspired -- producers without originality? Is the "value" of an artist's work lower if they can only perfectly copy another artist?

Maybe I should outsource my illustration, go with the "With my mind and your hands" approach. I'm too impatient to learn Photoshop well enough to produce my idea, and my inspirations are fleeting. There are plenty of skilled designers out there who could turn my simple idea into a .psd file in about 30 minutes. But this idea makes me feel like a failure. Why? Should it? People do it all the time. My profession is to write software for inspired people who have an idea but lack the skills (or raw manpower) to execute: they can't write the code. I doubt that architects feel guilty for not pounding every nail, welding every joint, or installing every insanely-curved piece of titanium in the buildings they design. Songwriters often don't sing their own tunes. But there's something about drawing for me that I just can't get over: I have hands, dexterous ones. Regardless of how good or bad my ideas are, I want to create them myself, and if I fail I usually let the idea fall away. And drawing on a computer? What do my hands have to do with that? My fingers, dexterity, or control... what are their factors now, with this damn illustration software?

Do you think my being faster, stronger has anything to do with my muscles in this place? Do you believe that's air you are breathing now?

Namely, Pomeroy, WA.